My one basic rule when it comes to relationships:
When in doubt, discard.
Keep your heart sterile from the pain or heartbreak it may cause you if you still go on even with the doubt.
I always had applied that rule for quite a few years now having to say no for every man who attempts to knock the heart. I do not know if it is fear of getting hurt or simply I am not ready to handle myself when it comes to loving. What if I'll just become a nightmare to someone I am going to love?
I have realized the doubt wasn't really about the man in the relationship, it is the doubt in me. And I am at lost of what am I going to do with me.
But what if it just doesn't beat for someone else because it already has someone in it, an unrequited love from someone I knew many moons back. Or what if I am not just sure of anything in my life now? I no longer know how to love or to receive love coz I simply do no want any aches and thinking I am doing fine alone, why complicate thing?
But my thoughts of loving again constantly haunts me, in my dreams, in my daily thoughts. Will loving again eventually fades away all the doubts in me?
I hope when that day comes, when the heart opens up, I will not become a nightmare to myself and to the one I love. And I could say, without a doubt, I am truly yours.
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