I was shot that day, September 1, 2008 straight through the heart but
what's funny is that, I felt so happy with that shot. The gun fired at 8pm that
evening and the bullet was never taken off from me. Though a lot of doctors had
advised me to have an operation to take it out, I wouldn't listen. The moment
the bullet got inside me, I felt happiness and freedom. Freedom from all people
who look up to me, to be that one or this one someday. I had find a way to
escape some of these, through that bullet. I didn't say the bullet kind of
poisoned me but let's say, there's a good side in every bad side that happens,
that some people failed to see. You failed to see, right?
Through that bullet, my inside body found a hole that opens from the
outside, to which someone can peek and see a world different from what it is living
now, amazed that there is also a kind of world that exist, that the inside
never encountered. But what is amazing is that the bullet also, in some ways
got amazed that the bullet who in turn will be a threat to the body was after
all, was not.
I named that bullet "D", hehe..that's a name I would always
carry along with my name, that's the name of the bullet who struck my life like
lightning, change the pattern of my life and invited me to his world of
rebellion and curiosity.
I am his good side and he was my bad side, that's what they see but for
those who knew us, those people who had been eye witnesses, they say we just complement
each other’s weaknesses and strengths, that's true. He had shown me the bad
sides of life which I have not encountered nor experienced from the people who
surrounds me. I have shown him a world of forgiveness and second chances do
exist. I have shown him that love can actually learns to forgive, that love can
be a weapon from those evil forces that pulls him so. I have met a guy who of
all people in these world would be a total opposite of me - that's what I said
at first but as months go by, I learned that many of his good sides were just
covered by the black fogs in front of him.
He was kind, humble and giving. Some of those personalities that I
discovered while putting off the fogs. Like fogs, they are present in the
morning just after a long storm that you couldn't set the surrounding in clear
view but eventually it goes up and the view is clear once again - He was like
that. He told me I had help him set his mind in clear view, of what direction
he would take, and eventually fix his life that he had shattered through his
rebellions, give up the vices he had befriended and set with my friendship
instead.
Now, he is again on a road of knowing himself better, improve his life
and change what other people had set as meaning to his name in which you
wouldn't want to hear. It is understandable since he had failed many persons
already, he had failed to change to someone what they want him to be. He will
always fail if he wouldn't do something for himself and not because other
people had told him so. But now, he is doing something for himself and I'm
proud of it. Even if it will come a time which I pray would not come, that I
may not be on his side anymore, at least I had been a great part of what he
will become.
And even if it kills me if the bullet stays in my body, I wouldn't dare
remove it. It had been a part of my body and my heart will always beat as the
bullet warms my heart.
**Written 2010
**Facebook Notes
**Facebook Notes
*One of those notes I’ve written out of boredom.
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