For the past 2 hours that I've been listening to their love stories, 'kilig' moments and love interest, it suddenly sink in I haven't had experienced those for a while, there were some but it didn't last long.
I feel like I've been so hard on my self for the past months, feeling nauseous with love and its accessories, not entertaining much that some chose to leave because its the choice left.
I look back and how I wish I've tried at least but nah, you have that guilt feeling, that thought you don't want to use, you don't want to be confused, you don't want to mix things, you know the feeling of getting hurt because you've been there.
You focus on other things.
So you just let it go, just 'whoever stays meant a lot'.
Some would still reason out the past but I know those feelings were gone, I don't even think of the person anymore.
I just have myself to worry.
To worry because I can't feel much, I don't find any gesture sweet, numb.
When I tell people I'm okay, yes I'm okay physically.
But know what, I guess sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look at me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you are not".
I feel like I've been so hard on my self for the past months, feeling nauseous with love and its accessories, not entertaining much that some chose to leave because its the choice left.
I look back and how I wish I've tried at least but nah, you have that guilt feeling, that thought you don't want to use, you don't want to be confused, you don't want to mix things, you know the feeling of getting hurt because you've been there.
You focus on other things.
So you just let it go, just 'whoever stays meant a lot'.
Some would still reason out the past but I know those feelings were gone, I don't even think of the person anymore.
I just have myself to worry.
To worry because I can't feel much, I don't find any gesture sweet, numb.
When I tell people I'm okay, yes I'm okay physically.
But know what, I guess sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look at me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you are not".
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