This letter says exactly the thoughts I have in mind and I would like to share it.
'First of all, I want you to know that I’m not going to hate you. I’m not going to spend hours Facebook-stalking you, I won’t bitch to my friends about how much you suck, and I won’t ask them a million times if they think you’re prettier than me. I’m sure you’re wonderful – in fact, I actually hope that you are. If I ever meet you, I will treat you with the respect and warmth that you will likely deserve.
After all, you are dating someone who was – is – a very significant part of my life. You probably see something special in him, the way I once did. How can I hate you for that? If anything, all it proves is that you and I might have a few things in common. I’ll admit that I am captivated by the idea of your existence. I don’t know what I’d prefer: for you to be strikingly similar to me, or for you to be radically different.
I hope that you’re funny as hell. I hope you’re filled with energy and life, and that you can keep up with the ever-raging storm of his thoughts, jokes, and ideas. I hope that you’re spontaneous, and silly, and that you love being surrounded by people just as much as he does. I hope you can get him laughing multiple times a day. Don’t be deceived by the fact that no sound is coming out; that’s just the way his laugh is. You’ll be able to tell when he really thinks you’re hilarious.
I hope that you’re intelligent, and ambitious, and that you challenge him constantly. He is capable of so much more than he thinks, and I hope you’ll help push him to become the person he so wants to be. I hope that you don’t take his bullshit, and that you call him out when he’s being a complete ass. I hope you’re the type of girl who stands up for herself, who won’t tolerate anything less than honesty and respect, who isn't afraid to make him feel bad.
He and I weren't right for each other, but for a long time, neither of us was willing to fully let go. We made a mess, and instead of cleaning it up or walking away, we spent months needlessly adding to the disaster. Something about him made me weak. I want him to make you feel strong. I want his presence in your life to add to your confidence, not chip away at it. I want you to feel like the best version of yourself when you are with him, filled with love, not doubt.
I hope he understands just how valuable you are, and that he reminds you how much you mean to him every day. I hope that he can love you the way he was never quite able to love me. I hope he treats you well. And if he doesn't, I hope you will have the strength and the courage to truly leave him – perhaps a little more successfully and elegantly than I did.
Sincerely,
Me'
- Alissa Fingold :)
2013
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