Dear You,
I know it is best that we shouldn't contact each other since we are having our separate lives now. I've been doing that. But I couldn't go on a day without writing what I feel. This consoles me. 'Just that lately, something bad happen that made me realize a lot of things again. I had a bad dream about you while you were working on your chosen field. I woke up shaken. What if its really true? We didn't even make up as friends. Then I realize I need a good goodbye before a 'for good' goodbyes.
The day we last fought, I swore I'll never talk to you again. I was hurt and fed up that time. But it was a wounded little girl in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me like you used to. Days to weeks, you didn't came. I didn't care. I was determined at that time to move on. I am getting used to a life without you then after a few weeks, they told me you found another one. I didn't cry that day. I just thought whatever makes you happy, go ahead and I wasn't convinced you love her as much as you have loved me. Still, I kept my distance. Still, I didn't care. It was my pride at that time, I needed that.
But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of thing. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I do especially of so many things and events that reminds me of you, of us. I don’t care of what would they say. I am not taking you back to make things clear. It is not my call, neither yours. It will make things worse, besides you do seem to be happy now. I won't confuse you. I am just letting my heart speak so loud, so public, not so me and just now.
At the end, I still believe that day will come that you and I will eventually be truly friends leaving all the past behind and just cherish good memories. After all, we started as friends anyway and I hope we still end up that way. I hope time and by chance we will meet again and be friends again.
Me
November 3, 2014
I know it is best that we shouldn't contact each other since we are having our separate lives now. I've been doing that. But I couldn't go on a day without writing what I feel. This consoles me. 'Just that lately, something bad happen that made me realize a lot of things again. I had a bad dream about you while you were working on your chosen field. I woke up shaken. What if its really true? We didn't even make up as friends. Then I realize I need a good goodbye before a 'for good' goodbyes.
The day we last fought, I swore I'll never talk to you again. I was hurt and fed up that time. But it was a wounded little girl in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me like you used to. Days to weeks, you didn't came. I didn't care. I was determined at that time to move on. I am getting used to a life without you then after a few weeks, they told me you found another one. I didn't cry that day. I just thought whatever makes you happy, go ahead and I wasn't convinced you love her as much as you have loved me. Still, I kept my distance. Still, I didn't care. It was my pride at that time, I needed that.
But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of thing. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I do especially of so many things and events that reminds me of you, of us. I don’t care of what would they say. I am not taking you back to make things clear. It is not my call, neither yours. It will make things worse, besides you do seem to be happy now. I won't confuse you. I am just letting my heart speak so loud, so public, not so me and just now.
At the end, I still believe that day will come that you and I will eventually be truly friends leaving all the past behind and just cherish good memories. After all, we started as friends anyway and I hope we still end up that way. I hope time and by chance we will meet again and be friends again.
Me
November 3, 2014
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