'Pride sometimes can be a heart broken's best friend.' I said this to a friend because it is from my experience and that experience later gave me so much lessons learnED. When you got hurt so much and you think you didn't deserve those pain, that pride comes to the rescue. But later, as you were mending your broken heart, sooner or later, if you're smart enough, you will realize a lot of things, of how much your worth is and how less you deserve them, soon that pain converts itself to self-love, self-respect and gets you closer to God.
If not because of that heart break, I wouldn't find myself and know myself better. If not because of that heart break, I wouldn't be able to push myself far from the things I thought I can never do, and yet I did. If not because of that heart break, I wouldn't be able to go places I've never been. It was just an escape for a moment and just enjoy I thought, but later it developed into a hobby. While discovering self-healing, I discovered beautiful places, I became more adventurous in the process. I met new friends. I learned to mingle with other people, I came to overcome my shyness that some people came to notice, and they would me, I am not that timid silent girl no more. I am still that girl on my solidarity times. If not because of that heart break, I wouldn't know how to make walls within my heart because I am afraid someone would hurt it again. I wouldn't be able to find true happiness on little simple things because all along I thought it was just being with the past. I was wrong; happiness can be on very simple things, happiness within yourself, not from other people.
I did take pride with what I did right and by choosing the right choices because I know wrong choices would mean broken walls. I was able to find happiness on my own even on my travels alone. There were many memories but slowly they seem to disappear on their own and I am filling them with new ones, better ones. I already accepted the fact that we were not meant for each other and I am happy for the paths he took. I reached my acceptance stage.
I was able to pull down that pride because I am no longer broken. I am no longer living in the past. And I am learning to love again sincerely and wisely because of those experience that I learned from the past. I was able to pick up the pieces one by one on my own. Yes, I was tempted by letting someone pick the pieces for me, but I did not allow that entirely. I know I'm strong and I can do it without hurting no one. I know how it felt to be broken, that's why.
Our love story was once a good one that many had regretted and still some are wishful we can still mend, but it is no longer a good idea. I have moved on. Its been a year now, as I have promised myself, at least a year for myself. Now, it is time to open and accept challenges of love that are waiting for me.
My heart is ready. I am ready.
Thank you for the heart break. This is with no bitterness, no pain and no regret. I sincerely thank you as this is a blessing in disguise. :)
**Written 2013
** I just woke up and wrote this
**Written 2013
** I just woke up and wrote this
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